Finding self love is a difficult journey, it took me most of my life to learn to love myself and even now it’s still a struggle sometimes. For me, the most important part about learning self love was acceptance, you need to accept your “flaws” and realise that NO ONE is perfect.
Accepting that my depression and anxiety is a part of me was the first step, mental illness does not define you, it sculpts you into the beautiful and unique person you are. We all have our struggles, and you are not alone in suffering. It’s important to acknowledge that you’re allowed days of sadness, self love does not mean you have to be 100% all day every day. You can spend a day in bed with a film and a cuppa’ and still have self love.
In order to find out why you don’t already have self love you need to figure out what it is that makes you NOT love yourself. Is it something you’re doing or not doing? For me, I experienced the most self hate when my diet was dismal, I used food as an excuse to hate myself and my body but I also used it as a coping mechanism and it just became a spiral of self hate.
I found the pattern between the type of foods I was eating and how I felt (sometimes a journal is a good way of finding what causes your self hate) and it came to a point where I just had enough. Going vegan was my saving grace. Going vegan means I now easily consume my 5 a day, my meals are packed of vital minerals and vitamins and it’s all guilt free. I don’t have to feel guilty or upset when eating any of it, I can truly enjoy what I’m eating now. I am proud of the food I eat and I am proud of my body.
Don’t get me wrong, I still eat junk, but not half as much as I used to and like I said before, I can now eat naughty treats without feeling guilty and therefore not hating myself for eating it. I can now wholeheartedly say that I treat my body well, I fuel it with the right food and I take it out for long walks in the sunshine! Treat your body like you’d treat your pet dog (or something) and you’ll be on the path to self love.
They key is really finding a link between doing something (or wishing you would do something) and when you experience self hate, when you find a trigger you can fight it and work towards extinguishing those negative feelings and building the positive ones.
Never forget to appreciate and be grateful and go find your self love! xx